Time to switch speeds a little bit on the blog I think.
Mental health is still a huge topic for me, and you can expect me to keep writing about it. I have been struggling privately with a few things recently, but haven't had a lot of thoughts that I feel strongly enough about to blog.
On to today's big topic. CONSENT.
I've been really hesitant to blog about this subject. I'm still really hesitant but I've read too many stories from people I know, friends, that these kinds of events have happened to stay silent any longer. The stories in the news are inevitable. You've read them, you've read the stories from people who have stayed silent.
The fact that we still need to discuss this in the 21st century makes me angry in ways I don't like.
I don't understand, at all, how after thousands of years of "civilization" that we, as humans, can still be having this conversation. I don't understand how men, and probably even women, can't come to grips with the concept of consent.
Realistically, how can people not understand a concept as simple as "Yes means Yes, anything other than an explicit YES, means NO!" This doesn't seem like rocket science. For goodness sake people, SMARTEN UP!
Let me next say that as a general rule, I believe in 'innocent until proven guilty'. However, in the case of sexual assault, I truly believe the opposite should be true. From the information that I've read, and I am by no means an expert, people are afraid to come forward because they believe, rightfully so apparently, that more often than not, their telling of events will not be believed. That needs to stop, right now. If a someone comes forward to police with an account of sexual assault, that account needs to be taken with the assumption that it is 100% factual.
This of course brings us to another thorny place. What happens if the account isn't factual? How does one properly defend themselves? Do we need to start getting notarized affidavits of consent before engaging in sexual activities? That seems extreme. What is fair? What isn't? Are there people who create fictional accounts for nefarious purposes? Absolutely. I don't think it's worth dismissing all of the unreported acts for the few that might be fictional? Where is the balance? I don't know.
Let me state, unequivocally, that I am absolutely comfortable convicting innocent people occasionally if it means justice the other 99.9% of the time. In a perfect world, no innocent person would ever be convicted, but if I have to make a choice between innocent people being convicted or guilty people walking free, I'm gonna fall on the side of the victims. They deserve justice. They deserve to be heard. The guilty deserve to go to jail.
So, with all that in mind, here is my final thought. Unless the person you are with says YES, keep your fucking hands to yourself. Even if they do say YES, think for a minute, are they in the proper state of mind to understand what they are consenting to? Are they under the influence? Are they in an altered state due to another event? If we ever have any doubts, we have the power within ourselves to say NO, this isn't the right thing to do. Make that choice. Do the right thing.
