It's a funny thing about mental illness from my experience so far.
What one really wants in tough times is companionship. Not a 'keep your chin up', not a 'you'll get there', not a single word will help sometimes.
What I want is someone or many someones to just be there. I just don't want to feel so alone all the time.
I want some one I can sit with without words if need be. Someone to simply share the room with.
As much as the stigma of mental illness is being reduced. People who are mentally healthy just don't seem to want to spend time with people who aren't.
I know that, very likely, I'm terrible company when I feel like this. I don't blame people for not wanting to hang out with me. I just really need someone to want to hang out with me. I really really really need it.
I think, for me, that the loneliness is the worst part. The loneliness makes me sad, which makes me poor company, which makes people not wanna hang out, which makes me more likely... And so on and so forth ad infinitum. You get the picture.
I don't know what to do about this. I've never had a strong social support network. To be honest, I've rarely had any friends at all.
I'm working really hard to improve and get better. I'm a work in progress to be sure. I just need someone or some people to take a chance on me. To help me get better... To help me learn to be a person that people want to be around.
