Graduation

So how bout that.

I graduated from my Acute Day Hospital program at the Civic Hospital.

I wrote briefly about my first day. I wrote more extensively at the half way point. I guess now is the point in the story where I talk about what, if anything, I learned.

I'm not sure how much detail I want to go into about my diagnosis / situation.

The program was fantastic. I will say that much. It's 2 hours of group psychotherapy in the morning. Let me say, in no uncertain terms, that I'm not a huge fan of group therapy. There were points were I really felt like I got something significant from speaking about my issues, and learning from situations that others in the group were dealing with. I did learn some things about myself in group, but more often than not, it felt like we spent far too much time stuck in the weeds. The group sometimes spent too much time dealing with circumstances instead of dealing with how members were dealing with the circumstances. Circumstances can't always change, how you deal with them, and how your own behaviour can influence your circumstances are much more important things to look at.

The better part of the program for me was the afternoon sessions. They focused on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. We dealt with different subjects each day. Monday was Goal Setting, Tuesday was Cognitive Behavioural Change, Wednesday was Communication Skills and Thursday was Stress Management. The Goal setting group was probably my favourite. I think the lesson from my first week is the one that will stick with me the most going forward. The first thing I learned was about my life grid. Basically, I learned in a big hurry that my life has no balance. It's something I realized a little bit before I started the program, but it really slapped me that first day. I have a tendency to go all in when I find something good. That is not a healthy option, because when that one thing goes away, then there really isn't anything else to keep me going. Moving forward, I will be making a much greater effort to widen the scope of my activities. I've already taken up acting and Karaoke, lots more things to try.

We did a wide variety of activities, covering a variety of topics. I can't remember them all at the moment, but they did provide me with a giant stack of reading that I can refer back to at my leisure to remind me of all the great things I learned.

Finally, the most important thing I learned. This is NOT a short journey. This is a lifelong journey / war. I'm not convinced it's a war that can be won. I do, however, think that going forward, I can win more battles than I lose.

I'm not perfect, I'm never going to be perfect, but I'm definitely going to be a better man, a better parent, a better friend, and a better person than I was when I started.

Therapy continues. I'll be back to St. Paul University tomorrow, and I've finally got a Psychiatrist who will hopefully be able to help too. I've also got some stuff to work on independently, a new sleep study to request, and a study at the Royal about low dose IV Ketamine's effect on chronic depression.

I'm working hard on the social stuff. I'm working on expanding my social circle. I'm looking hard at options for school and work so I can get back to being a contributing member of society.

I am pretty excited about the future now. I have a good vision of where I want to be and what it's going to take to get from where I am to there.

If you are interested in knowing more, I'm very willing to talk about my experience at more length and in more detail. If you have questions, please feel free to shoot them over and I will do my best to answer them.

More to come...